The tabs

For those who don’t know the tabloids in England here are some of the headlines for today.

Few tendencies:

-Headlines that tell you what to think before you read the article so you don’t actually have to read anything to make an opinion: “heartbreaking”, “scandalous”, “outrageous”, “monster”, “guilty”, “thugs”, “unfair”…

-To slander and show how much the state is robbing the taxpayers.

-To play with the words to make titles the likes of "Owen-ly" for "heavenly" if they talk about Michael Owen...

-Z-list celebrities interviews with judgmental words.

-Articles based on TV reality shows and cheap TV shows celebrities: X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, Corronation Street, Eastenders, Strictly Come Dancing…

-And stories for Fox Mulder to cut and keep in his desk for his next X-Files

News of the world : mostly unsigned articles because they are 90% lies and it’s mainly all about sex scandals.

‘Evil’: Nursery paedo’s ex-husband speaks out: Our mum, the monster.

Yorke: Pot plant helped me beat sex ban.

Yorke: Goals, girls and me. He explains how he couldn’t stop scoring.

Yorke: How I lined up girls for married players.

Beckham: Is Victoria going grey?

XXX-Factor: Singer has secret porn past

OZZY: My sex-life is going up and down.

Corrie babe Michelle Keegan reveals all: My boobs are too big and I love all-night binges.

Stickly Natalie saves lust dance for lovers: Natalie Cassidy reckons she’ll score a perfect ten for a NOOKIE

I sent my cheating lover to sex school

Kim Kadarshian on her famous derrière.



The Daily Mail. Most of the articles are signed: “Daily Mail Reporter”

Why no-one had a bad word to say about Zac Goldsmith leaving his wife for a younger woman.

Sinitta strips down to her palm leaves... as the judges welcome X Factor finalists to their homes

I'm sitting next to Rihanna!
(article based on a picture of a singer texting while sitting next to Rihanna so the news is what she could've been writting...How insightful!)

Esther Rantzen: Why my daughter's wedding made me realise... I'm so terribly lonely on my own

How I got pregnant... when I was ALREADY pregnant! (Hello, X-files!)

Will it be big enough for all the egos, Simon? Cowell hires mighty marquee for his £1m birthday bash

Sarah Ferguson: 'I need a new man. Know any good dating agencies?'

Michael Jackson had bizarre tattoos on his lips, eyes and scalp

City banker accused of strangling his cheating wife after row over where to their send daughter to school (actual order of the words!)

Nursery paedophile to get new identity - all funded by taxpayers
(for the DM, it's the taxpayers part that is outrageous)

BBC wins to keep star salaries under wraps (and it only cost us £200,000)

Mother whose boyfriend killed her toddle son walks free even though she knews youngster has been abused for weeks

'Vegetables and fruits, not too much pies!' The heartbreaking advice a dying mother left in her "mummy manual' for husband and daughters



The Sun.

Find the fourth nursery peado

Jacko’s lawyer is off the will

Cowell invites Arlene to his 50^th (birthday)

Jade: Our show has sex-factor

Ali: I’m hot to trot for Brian

Spice Girls reunite…but without Posh

Kate Moss gets leathered

Alesha gives everyone ten

Sergeant fought with shrapnel in his head (X-file number 2)

We cry everyday for Jade…no woman should suffer like that

Why our bees have buzzed off

Lose baby weight

Lawyer pockets a fortune to defend human rights of crooks and killers

The bookies have banned me

I’m gutted, perv was best man

If we want girls, we can get them

Bear is star of wildlife photos



The mirror

Lad is dad at 13, he gets Saturday job to support new family

Brit surfed the tsunami to safety

Strickly Come Dancing star kills chicken live on TV

Fiona Pilkington’s death shows us our failure in face of evil

Inside the police secret fight against paedophiles
(for the paedophiles to know about everything that’s been done to find them)

Football manager talks woman out of suicide leap out of bridge

Miliband: Tories are a bunch of schoolboys

Yobs abuse Afghanistan war hero who lost limbs for…having no legs

Gran put on E-bay for moaning…so what gets her goat?

Aaaww of the jungle: new born monkey gets a kiss from his siblings

Iran’s Israel hater “may be Jewish"

Paul O'Grady: My show can't survive now