Nicking a few Nicks

Nicky Byrne


Nick Youngquest


Nick Wechsler


Nick Symmonds


Nick Auger


Nick Beyeler


Nick Carter


Nick Cornish


Nich Lachey

Catherine Tate

The Breeders - Cannonball

Ewan McGregor

Robert Hoffman

I have no idea who that bloke is whatsoever but I appreciate the smile...that's it!

Pillocks!

From that blog I found yesterday:


France now in UK, say Mail messageboard genuises

It has often been said that the people who leave comments on the Daily Mail website don't read past the headline and first few lines before giving us all the benefit of their ignorant views. Usually the truth is buried towards the end of the article, when they have given up reading and started bashing out their bilious responses.

Vietnamese illegal immigrants hidden among speciality food on truck bound for UK is an accurate headline and the first sentence explains the rest:

A lorry carrying supplies to a Vietnamese restaurant in Birmingham had 13 illegal migrants on board when it was stopped in France.

Good. So the border police have stopped some illegal immigrants getting to the UK. Surely cause for the messageboard people to cheer? Well, no, because some of them haven't even read that first line properly:

Send them back this is happening every day and this government cannot handle it.
- D.Platten, Hull, 24/8/2009 14:55

I presume then that, within 2 or 3 weeks, the government will be giving them all council houses, 4-500 pounds per week, a free car and of course permanent residence.
- Mark Rees, San Francisco (Ex Pat), 24/8/2009 14:08

Check up in 6 months to see how many of them area still here.
- tony, sheffield, 24/8/2009 13:59

Why are they still in this country? They should have been shipped straight back too the safe country they had left, probably France
- s'me again Shane, Beverley East Yorkshire, 24/8/2009 13:45

Let me know if these people are deported in the next ten years.
- Dab, Cambs England, 24/8/2009 13:16

No doubt they will be allowed to stay , given a house and every benefit going.
- Jax, England., 24/8/2009 12:42

So, your starter for ten: which bit of 'stopped in France' do these idiots not understand?

Notice in particular the second comment by Mark Rees, who comes out with Carole Malone's 'free car' bullshit (an urban myth is born...), and claims they receive '4-500 pounds per week', rather than £35.

Needless to say these comments are all voted positive, but surely it brings into question once again how the Mail moderators are letting through such stupid comments. They have also published a few pointing out their error, but their policy on what they allow (comments that tow the line, even when they're completely factually wrong) and what they don't (comments pointing out errors and lies) seems the wrong way round entirely.

Dan Wells

I can't bloody believe I didn't know him before tonight! o_O






And he made an appearance in Will and Grace?! Jesus, what happened to me that day?

And he's 37?!! My God! I want him as my daddy ^^

Matthew Born

And she sang.

I'm addicted!

I should be working but I'm addicted to that:

http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/

The best blog I've ever read in my life! That's all I love: good work on how low the pathetic tabloids get everyday when it comes to doing so-called journalism.

A few extracts if I may:

The Daily Express doesn't believe in climate change. This front page from last week made that clear. The quote marks around fraud show it is a quote from someone else but the phrasing makes it clear the, ahem, 'world's greatest newspaper' is of the same mind.

That was emphasised again on Tuesday 8 December when their Environment Editor's feeble article about Copenhagen was given the headline A load of hot air!

That's their exclamation mark, not mine.

And the sub-head was 'Climate change talks are £130m waste of time'.

£130m? Guess where that figure came from.

Yes, the TaxPayers' Alliance. Who else? It's not entirely clear what use this figure is, or even if it is very accurate. For example, all their calculations assume every one of the 15,000 delegates stays for the whole eleven days.

Also, they have allocated around £54 million to the salaries of delegates (the wages they are being paid from their job, over the eleven days of the conference) based on a median wage of £72,713. With enviable accuracy, they say:

While many delegates will be paid less than £72,713, many political, civil service and business leaders will be paid much more.

Glad that's clear then.

The Express has a graphic of figures 'relevant' to Copenhagen: 15,000 delegates, 5,000 journalists, 140 private jets, 1,200 limos and so on. It includes five figures from the TPA's report as if they are fact.

And also - just to show how serious the paper is about the subject - the really crucial number in the climate change debate:

1,400 prostitutes offering free sex to conference pass holders.

But the £130m is what the Express leads with, although they don't attribute the figure to the TPA, or even - shock! - quote them in the article.

That's even more miraculous given the third paragraph:

Critics claim the conference of 192 countries, costing £130million, is a “waste of time”.

As the article rumbles on, you wonder: who are these critics? Who are these climate change experts branding Copenhagen a:

summit of hot air.

Not the TPA but...the Association of British Drivers.

Yes, that world-renowned authority on climate change.


The news that around 100 Romanians have been forced to flee their homes in Belfast because of a string of racist attacks is a shocking and important development. At time of writing it is lead story on the BBC website, and takes a high profile on the Sky News, Guardian, Telegraph and Times websites (various below Iran and breaking unemployment figures).

The Sun's homepage doesn't mention it anywhere on it's homepage (but Big Brother is everywhere). The Express has it on it's UK news page, but not the homepage.

The Mail does have it fairly high up, but decides it's of less importance than more whinging about bin collections, job applications at McDonalds, why Brits like living in New Zealand (one of their twisted 'immigration is good when it's British people' stories), Katie Price's big tits and Victoria Beckham's reduced tits.

And when you get to the comments section on the Mail's story, it's beyond parody. This comment:

I notice a lot of blaming the victim going on here. Racism is disgusting and always wrong. Anyone who voted BNP recently take a look - this is the future you voted for.
- JamesP., edinburgh, 17/6/2009 9:41

is currently at -121. And at -102, this:

it is very easy to whip up hysteria about immigration but its equally hard to control the nasty forces such hysteria unleashes. We all have a responsibility here.....
- Mike, Bristol, 17/6/2009 9:26

Whereas commentators who blame the government, rather than the mindless racist thugs, get big positive scores. But Mike in Bristol's comment about immigration hysteria unleashing nasty forces - you can't expect Mail readers to appreciate that.


After calling a previous Big Brother contestant a 'fruit', the Star proves it's homophobia once again with the nonsensical headline BB on massive bender. Which might be allowable if it was a reference to endless drinking. But it's not, it's about the various lesbian and bisexual contestants, particularly Freddie,

'a sleazy toff who once ran a GAY SEX website'.

It goes on:

Sleazy Freddie...an entrepreneur who once set up a sordid gay escort website...The x-rated uniboys.co.uk, promised to connect pervy individuals with £120-an-hour escorts. Services offered included “domination, fetish and role play”. Freddie, 23, and a pal were both advertised as escorts on the website, which is now closed down.

So not only is he a 'bender,' he's 'sleazy' and 'sordid'. Gay sex is so appalling to the Star it has to be highlighted in caps. Given that the paper is owned by someone who runs a collection of porn TV channels - which probably have plenty of girl-on-girl programming - it seems highly hypocritical.

And of course the Star would never encourage such 'pervy' behaviour.

Except, umm, it does.

In the 'Classified' section of the Daily Star website, you can see ads with titles such as 'Bend me over and spank my bum', 'Genuine Submissive Services', 'Thai girl massage' and 'London submissive girls'. And that's just on the first few of the 160 pages of 'service' ads.

Daily Star: homophobic hypocrites.

Britain does it better!

Just one let-down: Matthew Fox voice! He sounds like an old...old...old...something very mean and cheap to call him after I shall find later because I'm tired and not a very bad mood actually ¬¬

History is bloody riot!

As an historian, I love History. Some parts are quite boring but there’s always something you can pick up and like since its beginning 6000 years ago when humans starts to actually write things down.

But when you present it to much of the kids, they stay it’s dead boring. I agree. I mean the programme we want them to eat is pretty much…unbearable.

Yet I truly believe that when it comes to teaching, we can always find a way to divert some way somehow to make them see that humans being will be human beings and what interests them today could be found back then.

More easily sometimes, actually. Take the boys who like to play tough and watch horror movies where you can see people gruesomely tortured. Well here’s what you could see if you were to play in Paris in the Modern Era:

About François Ravaillaic after he killes Henry IV.

On May 27, he was taken to the Place de Grève and was tortured one last time before being pulled apart by four horses, a method of execution reserved for regicides. Alistair Horne describes the torture Ravaillac suffered: "Before being drawn and quartered... he was scalded with burning sulphur, molten lead and boiling oil and resin, his flesh then being torn by pincers." Following his execution, Ravaillac's parents were forced into exile and the rest of his family was ordered to never use the name "Ravaillac" again.


About Robert-François Damiens after he tried to assassinate Louis XV

He was tortured first with red-hot pincers; his hand, holding the knife used in the attempted assassination, was burned using sulphur; molten wax, lead, and boiling oil were poured into his wounds. Horses were then harnessed to his arms and legs for his dismemberment. Damiens' limbs and ligaments did not separate easily; after some hours, representatives of the Parlement ordered the executioner and his aides to cut Damiens' joints. Damiens was then dismembered, to the applause of the crowd. His torso, apparently still living, was then burnt at the stake. He is viewed by some people as the Guy Fawkes of France, since both of these men tried to kill their Kings but failed and were brutally executed.

I love the “brutally executed”. That’s so 2000! So American! So “war without any hurt”, with no collateral damage. Very clean world with no blood, no suffer, no expletives and no sex anywhere near your eyes and ears! For Fuck’s sake! Human history is a huge catalogue of crimes and blood is pouring in waterfalls from everywhere page of it.


Want sex, bitch, horrors and violence? No need to go to the bloody cinema and see Saw buggery VI!...Which, btw, in French is pronounced like “saucisse” which means sausage. And the next one will not be any better, it’s Saw VII…that sounds like “chaussette” (sock).


For instance, in France, we have a “problem”…well old narrow-minded bastards have a problems with young bloody pikeys who boo and jeer the national anthem (for Christ’s sake, it’s like Pavlov’s dog. They boo so you react, don’t react and they won’t do it anymore, you half wits!).

Well, it’s easy. Don’t just force them to sing it and love it. Show them what it’s actually saying. For those who aren’t French, here’s pretty much the translation of the part we always sing.

Come, children of the Fatherland,
The day of Glory has arrived!
Against us, tyranny’s
Bloody banner is raised,
Do you hear in the countryside
Those ferocious soldiers roaring?
They come up to your arms
To slit the throats of your sons and wives!

To arms, citizens!
Form your battalions!
Let’s march! Let’s march!
May an impure blood
Water our furrows!

And believe when I tell you the rest of it is pretty much the same.

Ask the kids what they want to see in history and take some time to show them that!

Gareth Thomas

I know this man doesn't look like the others I've been posting until now. If he was "a normal guy", he would be in the "Irk" section joining Wayne bloody Rooney and other hideous fart faces who think they are handsome and somehow relevant to anything.

But Gareth Thomas is not a normal man. He is, since yesterday, one of the most courageous man I've ever heard of.

For those who don't know him, Gareth Thomas is a well-respected, hugely talented, powerful, "very manly" (as his peers say) rugby player who holds the record as the most capped Welsh player. He was their captain, the one to lead the country to winning the World Cup in 2005 for the first time since the late 1960s. He also played for the British Lions and he is pretty much considered as the epitome of the rugby player, as a man who symbolises everything about that very manly, macho sport.

Well, that man is gay ! He came out yesterday ending years of painful heartache and misery trying desperately to be who he is not, who he could never be: a straight rugby player.

The landing on the moon was a huge step for humanity. Well the coming out of Gareth Thomas is, indeed, a huge step for homosexuality. Just like Matthew Mitcham’s coming out was.

And how is Britain reacting? Proudly and with the highest genuine dignity backing and praising a courageous man.

Childhood sweet lullaby

My, have I listened to that one for that 25 years!

Mini Mike's hat-trick

God, it's hard to believe that little 18 year-old twink is now 30 ^^

David Mohanan

Sudden hot-flush

Liam Hemsworth

It's Welsh, of course...

The craziest name for a town ever given:




And Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch means:

The Church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the Church of Tysilio by the red cave.

What in the name of all that's holy in the world did they do that?

French and Saunders