Good morning!

The ugly

 Believe me, she's real. You have no idea how many students I had when I was working in Blackpool, who came to school with the same fake tan, nails and hair.

And how many girls you see every night wearing the exact same outfit. I don't know what's worst: them thinking it's okay to look like that or the pikeys they actually attract looking like this.

Consultation

Men & women

Today The Times was asking "Why don't women drink beer?"

I think that's because burping the alphabet and farting while watching telly are not among women's favourite hobbies.