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That's pretty much what my youngest pupils sound like when they speak French. So cute! ^^
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The ones you have to be English to understand
Or follow football but that's my geeky moment: making up fake news according to the lastests from the ballers.
"On Sunday, John Terry showed his arm-band to the fans and afterwards, in a complete unrelated incident, his penis to the baby sitter"
"It was revealed on the last England Team meeting that the doctors came up with a new test for the players. After interviewing the whole team, it turns out John Terry came first on that new Wags Penetration Index"
“In his latest interview, John Terry declared “Balancing my football career at Chelsea, travelling all the time, and being a good husband is a real struggle if I’m honest”. But he’s not, so there you go!
“The news just came that Wayne Rooney missed the last Manchester United game after he went at Rio Ferdinand’s restaurant where he ate all the pies and got stuck in the door”
“After Chelsea players took tests, it was revealed Frank Lampard has a IQ way above the average rate but, the trouble is, he doesn’t know how to use it for his brain was delivered with an instruction manual but no PA to read it through”
“After the scandals, Chelsea thought it was necessary to point out that Ashley Cole is not related in any way with Joe Cole, although he did shag his grand-ma”.
"It was revealed that today Capello agreed to allow the England players to have a night out in the nearby city during the World Cup launching the careers of dozens of local prostitutes.”
"On Sunday, John Terry showed his arm-band to the fans and afterwards, in a complete unrelated incident, his penis to the baby sitter"
"It was revealed on the last England Team meeting that the doctors came up with a new test for the players. After interviewing the whole team, it turns out John Terry came first on that new Wags Penetration Index"
“In his latest interview, John Terry declared “Balancing my football career at Chelsea, travelling all the time, and being a good husband is a real struggle if I’m honest”. But he’s not, so there you go!
“The news just came that Wayne Rooney missed the last Manchester United game after he went at Rio Ferdinand’s restaurant where he ate all the pies and got stuck in the door”
“After Chelsea players took tests, it was revealed Frank Lampard has a IQ way above the average rate but, the trouble is, he doesn’t know how to use it for his brain was delivered with an instruction manual but no PA to read it through”
“After the scandals, Chelsea thought it was necessary to point out that Ashley Cole is not related in any way with Joe Cole, although he did shag his grand-ma”.
"It was revealed that today Capello agreed to allow the England players to have a night out in the nearby city during the World Cup launching the careers of dozens of local prostitutes.”
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
There is tension in the air
I don't know why but I've been laughing my arse off at those two cats for the past 30 minutes ^^
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Knobheads!
Here the logo for the Office for Government Commerce.
It looks fine until you rotate it 90°.
It looks fine until you rotate it 90°.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Pillocks!
From that blog I found yesterday:
France now in UK, say Mail messageboard genuises
It has often been said that the people who leave comments on the Daily Mail website don't read past the headline and first few lines before giving us all the benefit of their ignorant views. Usually the truth is buried towards the end of the article, when they have given up reading and started bashing out their bilious responses.
Vietnamese illegal immigrants hidden among speciality food on truck bound for UK is an accurate headline and the first sentence explains the rest:
Good. So the border police have stopped some illegal immigrants getting to the UK. Surely cause for the messageboard people to cheer? Well, no, because some of them haven't even read that first line properly:
So, your starter for ten: which bit of 'stopped in France' do these idiots not understand?
Notice in particular the second comment by Mark Rees, who comes out with Carole Malone's 'free car' bullshit (an urban myth is born...), and claims they receive '4-500 pounds per week', rather than £35.
Needless to say these comments are all voted positive, but surely it brings into question once again how the Mail moderators are letting through such stupid comments. They have also published a few pointing out their error, but their policy on what they allow (comments that tow the line, even when they're completely factually wrong) and what they don't (comments pointing out errors and lies) seems the wrong way round entirely.
France now in UK, say Mail messageboard genuises
It has often been said that the people who leave comments on the Daily Mail website don't read past the headline and first few lines before giving us all the benefit of their ignorant views. Usually the truth is buried towards the end of the article, when they have given up reading and started bashing out their bilious responses.
Vietnamese illegal immigrants hidden among speciality food on truck bound for UK is an accurate headline and the first sentence explains the rest:
A lorry carrying supplies to a Vietnamese restaurant in Birmingham had 13 illegal migrants on board when it was stopped in France.
Good. So the border police have stopped some illegal immigrants getting to the UK. Surely cause for the messageboard people to cheer? Well, no, because some of them haven't even read that first line properly:
Send them back this is happening every day and this government cannot handle it.
- D.Platten, Hull, 24/8/2009 14:55
I presume then that, within 2 or 3 weeks, the government will be giving them all council houses, 4-500 pounds per week, a free car and of course permanent residence.
- Mark Rees, San Francisco (Ex Pat), 24/8/2009 14:08
Check up in 6 months to see how many of them area still here.
- tony, sheffield, 24/8/2009 13:59
Why are they still in this country? They should have been shipped straight back too the safe country they had left, probably France
- s'me again Shane, Beverley East Yorkshire, 24/8/2009 13:45
Let me know if these people are deported in the next ten years.
- Dab, Cambs England, 24/8/2009 13:16
No doubt they will be allowed to stay , given a house and every benefit going.
- Jax, England., 24/8/2009 12:42
So, your starter for ten: which bit of 'stopped in France' do these idiots not understand?
Notice in particular the second comment by Mark Rees, who comes out with Carole Malone's 'free car' bullshit (an urban myth is born...), and claims they receive '4-500 pounds per week', rather than £35.
Needless to say these comments are all voted positive, but surely it brings into question once again how the Mail moderators are letting through such stupid comments. They have also published a few pointing out their error, but their policy on what they allow (comments that tow the line, even when they're completely factually wrong) and what they don't (comments pointing out errors and lies) seems the wrong way round entirely.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I'm addicted!
I should be working but I'm addicted to that:
http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/
The best blog I've ever read in my life! That's all I love: good work on how low the pathetic tabloids get everyday when it comes to doing so-called journalism.
A few extracts if I may:
The Daily Express doesn't believe in climate change. This front page from last week made that clear. The quote marks around fraud show it is a quote from someone else but the phrasing makes it clear the, ahem, 'world's greatest newspaper' is of the same mind.
That was emphasised again on Tuesday 8 December when their Environment Editor's feeble article about Copenhagen was given the headline A load of hot air!
That's their exclamation mark, not mine.
And the sub-head was 'Climate change talks are £130m waste of time'.
£130m? Guess where that figure came from.
Yes, the TaxPayers' Alliance. Who else? It's not entirely clear what use this figure is, or even if it is very accurate. For example, all their calculations assume every one of the 15,000 delegates stays for the whole eleven days.
Also, they have allocated around £54 million to the salaries of delegates (the wages they are being paid from their job, over the eleven days of the conference) based on a median wage of £72,713. With enviable accuracy, they say:
Glad that's clear then.
The Express has a graphic of figures 'relevant' to Copenhagen: 15,000 delegates, 5,000 journalists, 140 private jets, 1,200 limos and so on. It includes five figures from the TPA's report as if they are fact.
And also - just to show how serious the paper is about the subject - the really crucial number in the climate change debate:
But the £130m is what the Express leads with, although they don't attribute the figure to the TPA, or even - shock! - quote them in the article.
That's even more miraculous given the third paragraph:
As the article rumbles on, you wonder: who are these critics? Who are these climate change experts branding Copenhagen a:
Not the TPA but...the Association of British Drivers.
Yes, that world-renowned authority on climate change.
The news that around 100 Romanians have been forced to flee their homes in Belfast because of a string of racist attacks is a shocking and important development. At time of writing it is lead story on the BBC website, and takes a high profile on the Sky News, Guardian, Telegraph and Times websites (various below Iran and breaking unemployment figures).
The Sun's homepage doesn't mention it anywhere on it's homepage (but Big Brother is everywhere). The Express has it on it's UK news page, but not the homepage.
The Mail does have it fairly high up, but decides it's of less importance than more whinging about bin collections, job applications at McDonalds, why Brits like living in New Zealand (one of their twisted 'immigration is good when it's British people' stories), Katie Price's big tits and Victoria Beckham's reduced tits.
And when you get to the comments section on the Mail's story, it's beyond parody. This comment:
After calling a previous Big Brother contestant a 'fruit', the Star proves it's homophobia once again with the nonsensical headline BB on massive bender. Which might be allowable if it was a reference to endless drinking. But it's not, it's about the various lesbian and bisexual contestants, particularly Freddie,
It goes on:
So not only is he a 'bender,' he's 'sleazy' and 'sordid'. Gay sex is so appalling to the Star it has to be highlighted in caps. Given that the paper is owned by someone who runs a collection of porn TV channels - which probably have plenty of girl-on-girl programming - it seems highly hypocritical.
And of course the Star would never encourage such 'pervy' behaviour.
Except, umm, it does.
In the 'Classified' section of the Daily Star website, you can see ads with titles such as 'Bend me over and spank my bum', 'Genuine Submissive Services', 'Thai girl massage' and 'London submissive girls'. And that's just on the first few of the 160 pages of 'service' ads.
Daily Star: homophobic hypocrites.
http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/
The best blog I've ever read in my life! That's all I love: good work on how low the pathetic tabloids get everyday when it comes to doing so-called journalism.
A few extracts if I may:
The Daily Express doesn't believe in climate change. This front page from last week made that clear. The quote marks around fraud show it is a quote from someone else but the phrasing makes it clear the, ahem, 'world's greatest newspaper' is of the same mind.
That was emphasised again on Tuesday 8 December when their Environment Editor's feeble article about Copenhagen was given the headline A load of hot air!
That's their exclamation mark, not mine.
And the sub-head was 'Climate change talks are £130m waste of time'.
£130m? Guess where that figure came from.
Yes, the TaxPayers' Alliance. Who else? It's not entirely clear what use this figure is, or even if it is very accurate. For example, all their calculations assume every one of the 15,000 delegates stays for the whole eleven days.
Also, they have allocated around £54 million to the salaries of delegates (the wages they are being paid from their job, over the eleven days of the conference) based on a median wage of £72,713. With enviable accuracy, they say:
While many delegates will be paid less than £72,713, many political, civil service and business leaders will be paid much more.
Glad that's clear then.
The Express has a graphic of figures 'relevant' to Copenhagen: 15,000 delegates, 5,000 journalists, 140 private jets, 1,200 limos and so on. It includes five figures from the TPA's report as if they are fact.
And also - just to show how serious the paper is about the subject - the really crucial number in the climate change debate:
1,400 prostitutes offering free sex to conference pass holders.
But the £130m is what the Express leads with, although they don't attribute the figure to the TPA, or even - shock! - quote them in the article.
That's even more miraculous given the third paragraph:
Critics claim the conference of 192 countries, costing £130million, is a “waste of time”.
As the article rumbles on, you wonder: who are these critics? Who are these climate change experts branding Copenhagen a:
summit of hot air.
Not the TPA but...the Association of British Drivers.
Yes, that world-renowned authority on climate change.
The news that around 100 Romanians have been forced to flee their homes in Belfast because of a string of racist attacks is a shocking and important development. At time of writing it is lead story on the BBC website, and takes a high profile on the Sky News, Guardian, Telegraph and Times websites (various below Iran and breaking unemployment figures).
The Sun's homepage doesn't mention it anywhere on it's homepage (but Big Brother is everywhere). The Express has it on it's UK news page, but not the homepage.
The Mail does have it fairly high up, but decides it's of less importance than more whinging about bin collections, job applications at McDonalds, why Brits like living in New Zealand (one of their twisted 'immigration is good when it's British people' stories), Katie Price's big tits and Victoria Beckham's reduced tits.
And when you get to the comments section on the Mail's story, it's beyond parody. This comment:
I notice a lot of blaming the victim going on here. Racism is disgusting and always wrong. Anyone who voted BNP recently take a look - this is the future you voted for.is currently at -121. And at -102, this:
- JamesP., edinburgh, 17/6/2009 9:41
it is very easy to whip up hysteria about immigration but its equally hard to control the nasty forces such hysteria unleashes. We all have a responsibility here.....Whereas commentators who blame the government, rather than the mindless racist thugs, get big positive scores. But Mike in Bristol's comment about immigration hysteria unleashing nasty forces - you can't expect Mail readers to appreciate that.
- Mike, Bristol, 17/6/2009 9:26
After calling a previous Big Brother contestant a 'fruit', the Star proves it's homophobia once again with the nonsensical headline BB on massive bender. Which might be allowable if it was a reference to endless drinking. But it's not, it's about the various lesbian and bisexual contestants, particularly Freddie,
'a sleazy toff who once ran a GAY SEX website'.
It goes on:
Sleazy Freddie...an entrepreneur who once set up a sordid gay escort website...The x-rated uniboys.co.uk, promised to connect pervy individuals with £120-an-hour escorts. Services offered included “domination, fetish and role play”. Freddie, 23, and a pal were both advertised as escorts on the website, which is now closed down.
So not only is he a 'bender,' he's 'sleazy' and 'sordid'. Gay sex is so appalling to the Star it has to be highlighted in caps. Given that the paper is owned by someone who runs a collection of porn TV channels - which probably have plenty of girl-on-girl programming - it seems highly hypocritical.
And of course the Star would never encourage such 'pervy' behaviour.
Except, umm, it does.
In the 'Classified' section of the Daily Star website, you can see ads with titles such as 'Bend me over and spank my bum', 'Genuine Submissive Services', 'Thai girl massage' and 'London submissive girls'. And that's just on the first few of the 160 pages of 'service' ads.
Daily Star: homophobic hypocrites.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Britain does it better!
Just one let-down: Matthew Fox voice! He sounds like an old...old...old...something very mean and cheap to call him after I shall find later because I'm tired and not a very bad mood actually ¬¬
Saturday, December 05, 2009
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