Parler franglais?

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That's pretty much what my youngest pupils sound like when they speak French. So cute! ^^

Sébastien Mercier

Another one who thinks he's Alain Delon...good, I'll have him then! ^^

Martial Tricoche

French balls

Tennis player Arnaud Clément.

Luke Guldan is doing a Sandrine Trop Forte

[FUNNY] Sandrine trop Forte & Richard Jouir [Goodspeed]
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Frenchie

Gucci, Armani, Versace: shit kitch with mafia money!

Two countries. Two sets. Two ways to see fashion.

I'm French, I'm from the country that invented fashion. And I'm gay so I'm basically the epitome of the judgmental bitch and I'm about to bitch ^^

Because if there's one thing I hate it's moda: fashion made in Italy. I'll keep simple and go straight to the point: Italy's mode is cheap! It's for straight guys who believe they have to wear Armani to match their new Ferrari.

There is a big rivalry between France and Italy because both countries claim the leading place when it comes to fashion but also food, culture, history and yet I can't help but feel that everything coming from the other side of the Alps is vulgar.

There's something about Armani that spells footballers, cheaters, macho with little dicks and big cars married to some bimbos and massively cheating with stripper who all wear far too much perfume and make-up to match their hooker-like heels and occasional Elie Saab ostentatious dresses at a premiere where they flash their brand new breasts and fake tan in a far too outrageous cleavage they have done right before their holiday on a yacht they stationned for weeks in Saint-Tropez or Ibiza because that's the "place to be" even if it hasn't been for the past 20 years!

Armani and Italian fashion is for the kind of guys who will look like Berlusconi when they're old: ostentatious, vulgar, tasteless, too much, obvious, flashy and bling-bling. You never have to look far beneath the sleeve of an Armani jacket to find a 12 kilos diamond watch. After all, Armani sponsors Chelsea FC, had Beckham half naked to promote their underwear and, after they thought he was not cheap enough, they move to Cristiano Ronaldo. No comment!

Armani has set a target, they are pleasers: they need to appeal to the footballers and the guys who want to be like them, buy a Ferrari or a blinged customised golden Range Rover with their initials on the door, wheels and dashboard.

But I have to say that I like Valentino because he knows how to dress women with elegance. He looks like an old scrotum but at least he knows son métier and he doesn't try to follow a demand or a trent, he makes the trend.

That's what I like about French mode. Most of the designers are not pleasers, they have a clientèle but only when it comes to perfume and accessories. Chanel doesn't answer to a demand, Lagerfeld follows his mood, his creativity and doesn't go and sponsor some pretty faces with big ears and oh! too big egos at some award ceremony. His creation remains a trend-setter. Same for Christian Lacroix, Jean-Paul Gauthier, Yves St Laurent or Christian Dior.

They are the names of fashion, of class along with Givenchy, Olivier & Ted Lapidus, Christian Louboutin and Rochas. Not Versace, Gucci, Prada or Fendi who are only good at selling bags, belts and whory shoes to the enriched pikeys. Two houses in France decided to follow the trend and look where they are now: Vuitton (who imitated YSL intertwined letters) and Lacoste. éLet's appeal to the masses and sell baggy shorts and skater shoes" Well done...

My personal favourite are YSL, Chanel, Lacroix and Lapidus because all of them rhyme with class, simplicity and elegance in very different ways. I remember when I was a child and we could see some footage of Paris Fashion Week on tely at the end of the news. I loved the Autum/Winter collection with the gorgeous classy black and white dresses by Yves Saint-Laurent, the outrageously elegant colours of Lacroix, the way Chanel and Gauthier praise women's beauty with handsome aloofness from Chanel and delirious craziness from Gauthier.

Judge by yourself from the mood of the cities:

Here's Armani at the last Milan Fashion Week.




Here's Vivienne Westwood at the last Paris Fashion Week.



One is outrageously vulgar following the porn-chic trend.

The other one is simply cute and it's Westwood ^^

Ouch!

So the Tour de France can be interesting?

Bérénice - I'd rather sleep alone, than feel that there's no one home...

Thomas Rey

Friend of a friend who's hesitating...Believe that? ^^

And it has a website as well: http://www.thomasr.fr.vu/

Be grateful, we loathe you!

This is where I rant. 

That man considers himself as genuinely superior to me.

 

His name is Christian Vanneste. He’s a MP for the Nord region in France and belongs to the wonderful party Sarkozy is the leader of: UMP. An ever populist party whose baseline is: “Let’s be frank, openly intolerant and violent in words because that’s the way the People is”.

Christian Vanneste is one of the main reasons I can’t wait to leave that country of mine. First, as a historian because that man came up with a law in 2005 that stated we now would have to teach an official history in school when it comes to colonisation in order “ to show the positive side of French colonisation, especially in Northern Africa". 

An official history to make us look wonderful, erase all the crimes, the torture and the fact that we basically just came up one day, brought everyone down to slavery, servants and animals because they were different hence "inferior". We supposedly bought everything to those poor ignorant people who were living in nothing with nothing, like the USA are convinced they are doing with the Middle East today. And we only “left” after they got fed up and rebelled. But we didn’t just leave, we made sure we would torture, slaughter and destroy the most we could before.

That’s history like it’s taught in dictatorship or the US: let’s use it to make us feel like we are born the “Good Guys”.

Luckily, France cringed and rebelled as well. And that law was repealed in 2006. Yes! It took a whole year for the Président de la République to act and the Constitutional Council to realise there should be no such law to say what’s good to teach or not when it comes to a crucial like History.

Mainly, the Right moved because the situation was becoming embarrassing. Not because they were betraying everything the French Revolution was about or they were once again very good at pointing fingers at others’ mistakes while absolving our own in a nutshell. But because, firstly, France’s former colonies that are now districts within the country were starting to riot, the population was hugely hostile; and secondly Paris wanted to be the leader to its brand new scheme for stronger links between Europe and Africa but the latter’s countries refused to sign anything anymore!

But bottom-line, it moved people and we repealed it. 

What we didn’t repeal or complain about is the next brilliant thing on the agenda of that man: “Homosexual behavior a threat to the survival of humanity, and "morally inferior" to heterosexuality”.

... 

Sure, there was a minor outcry and he was trialed and punished but the judgment was overruled and now that man is still as the National Assembly, parading proudly among his peers who openly called us, gay people, the exact same names Hitler and Göbbels used for the Jews. 

And nobody’s moving. He was not summoned. He was not removed. That’s just everyday life. A MP is calling me “inferior” to him, to others just because I’m gay but that’s just another day in glorious insufferable France. 

Christian Vanneste is one of the main reasons why I want to leave France but he’s useful, somehow. Because he and all his friends at UMP are here to always remind me that I’m not welcomed in my country even if they demand I love and serve this very country.

Why would I want to do that when that country doesn’t want me and treat me like shit?

Kurt Wild, Ludovic Canot

Internet's full of beauty

France has her cuties as well ^^

Horrendous on Sunday morning

French bollocks are highjacking my Indy read }(

Ludovic Cannot by Exterface - Paris

And she sang.

History is bloody riot!

As an historian, I love History. Some parts are quite boring but there’s always something you can pick up and like since its beginning 6000 years ago when humans starts to actually write things down.

But when you present it to much of the kids, they stay it’s dead boring. I agree. I mean the programme we want them to eat is pretty much…unbearable.

Yet I truly believe that when it comes to teaching, we can always find a way to divert some way somehow to make them see that humans being will be human beings and what interests them today could be found back then.

More easily sometimes, actually. Take the boys who like to play tough and watch horror movies where you can see people gruesomely tortured. Well here’s what you could see if you were to play in Paris in the Modern Era:

About François Ravaillaic after he killes Henry IV.

On May 27, he was taken to the Place de Grève and was tortured one last time before being pulled apart by four horses, a method of execution reserved for regicides. Alistair Horne describes the torture Ravaillac suffered: "Before being drawn and quartered... he was scalded with burning sulphur, molten lead and boiling oil and resin, his flesh then being torn by pincers." Following his execution, Ravaillac's parents were forced into exile and the rest of his family was ordered to never use the name "Ravaillac" again.


About Robert-François Damiens after he tried to assassinate Louis XV

He was tortured first with red-hot pincers; his hand, holding the knife used in the attempted assassination, was burned using sulphur; molten wax, lead, and boiling oil were poured into his wounds. Horses were then harnessed to his arms and legs for his dismemberment. Damiens' limbs and ligaments did not separate easily; after some hours, representatives of the Parlement ordered the executioner and his aides to cut Damiens' joints. Damiens was then dismembered, to the applause of the crowd. His torso, apparently still living, was then burnt at the stake. He is viewed by some people as the Guy Fawkes of France, since both of these men tried to kill their Kings but failed and were brutally executed.

I love the “brutally executed”. That’s so 2000! So American! So “war without any hurt”, with no collateral damage. Very clean world with no blood, no suffer, no expletives and no sex anywhere near your eyes and ears! For Fuck’s sake! Human history is a huge catalogue of crimes and blood is pouring in waterfalls from everywhere page of it.


Want sex, bitch, horrors and violence? No need to go to the bloody cinema and see Saw buggery VI!...Which, btw, in French is pronounced like “saucisse” which means sausage. And the next one will not be any better, it’s Saw VII…that sounds like “chaussette” (sock).


For instance, in France, we have a “problem”…well old narrow-minded bastards have a problems with young bloody pikeys who boo and jeer the national anthem (for Christ’s sake, it’s like Pavlov’s dog. They boo so you react, don’t react and they won’t do it anymore, you half wits!).

Well, it’s easy. Don’t just force them to sing it and love it. Show them what it’s actually saying. For those who aren’t French, here’s pretty much the translation of the part we always sing.

Come, children of the Fatherland,
The day of Glory has arrived!
Against us, tyranny’s
Bloody banner is raised,
Do you hear in the countryside
Those ferocious soldiers roaring?
They come up to your arms
To slit the throats of your sons and wives!

To arms, citizens!
Form your battalions!
Let’s march! Let’s march!
May an impure blood
Water our furrows!

And believe when I tell you the rest of it is pretty much the same.

Ask the kids what they want to see in history and take some time to show them that!

I want that!

Where I live, it must've rained for barely eight hours since July, 15th. And when I say "rain". It was more of a little mist or three huge drops for 10 minutes and that's it.

I never thought I would say that but I'm desperate for rain! The water tank under the house collecting the waters from the roof is empty and the garden on which I have been working my arse off for the past two years in dying in front of me!

Someone, something, somebody gives me rain! Real rain! The one that soaks everything to the brim, that makes the rivers overflow, that soaks people to the bones!

Pleeeeaaaase! Raaaaaiiiiin!!

Quand on n'a rien à dire, on ferme sa gueule!

Ce matin, France Inter. Reportage à la 24h chrono/Urgences sur un fait totalement sans interêt: un fan de Toulouse s'est fait aggresser à Belgrade.

Beaucoup de mots biens longs et angoissants qui font professionel pour décrire comment va le mec: traumatisme cranien, aggravation de l'état de santé générale, angine de poitrine avec complication thrombotique et risque de fibrilation intraventriculaire, encéphalite méningitique façon myopatie de Duchêne...amanite phaloïde anticonstitutionnelle, enfin des trucs comme ça.

Et en ouverture une déclaration du minis...enfin de Rama Yade qui a dit: "Je condamne la violence dans le sport".

Rama Yade est le genre de minis...enfin de figure politique qui a chaque fois qu'il se passe quelque chose a des déclarations toutes prêtes et totalement sans interêt dont elle change un ou deux mots en fonction des situations.

Donc un fan aggressé à Belgrade. Déjà, ils en parlent comme si le mec s'était fait aggresser dans un quartier chic: "Quelle surprise!" Enfin c'est Belgrade, connards! Et le mec est un fan de football donc je ne pense pas qu'il se prelassait gentiment sans un mot avec un bouquin de Sartre dans un café huppé du quartiers des ambassades.

Alors "un fan de sport aggressé à Belgrade". On ne sais pas si le "fan de Toulouse" fut déterminant dans l'histoire mais Rama Yade condamne la violence dans le sport.

Demain, 10 autres femmes vont mourrir sous les coups de leur mari et quand les médias arrêteront de faire l'impasse dessus, Rama Yade viendra condamner la violence dans le couple.

A la fin de l'année, le bilan des morts sur la route en France depassera encore les 5000 et Rama Yade viendra condamner la violence sur la route.

Une mémé se fait arracher son sac à main, une du journal de TF1 avec interview du boucher, du facteur, de l'épicier arabe (avec sous-titres bien qu'il parle parfaitement français) et du patron de bar/tabac avec toutes les cigarettes bien en vue derrière...Et Rama Yade condamne la violence dans la rue.

Un lion attaque une gazelle et Rama Yade condamne la violence dans la savane africaine.

C'est inutile, c'est creux, ça ne sert à rien, ça ne change rien mais ça fait parler de soi.

Et en France, les journalistes sont très contents, ils ont leur citation d'entrée. Pas de commentaire, pas d'interview poussée pour savoir ce qu'elle compte faire de concret car ils sont trop occupés à feuilleter le Dictionnaire de la Médecine afin de mettre plus de suspens dans leurs reportages débiles.

Guillaume Canet